Find balance with contentment

How often do we find ourselves saying, "I will be happy if I get what I expect," or "I am sad because I was expecting this," or "I am anxious because I do not expect the results to be great"?

Every action we take is often followed by the expectation of a result, which inevitably brings an emotional attachment to that expected result. We've done this all our lives and observed that actual results never accurately match our expectations. Sometimes the results are better than we expected, and sometimes they are not as we expected, but they never completely align with our expectations.

However, knowing this has not stopped us from expecting, and hence, for any given result, we end up experiencing multiple emotions. For instance, if the outcome is better than expected, we feel joyful when we anticipate it and super happy when we receive it. Similarly, we feel anxious when we expect the result to be unfavourable and then feel either happy or sad depending on the actual outcome. Consequently, our actions and the expectations of their results take us on a roller-coaster ride of emotions.

We have grown uneasily habituated to this roller coaster, often overlooking its unseen ill effects. This constant fluctuation shapes our actions, reactions, moods, character, relationships, how we treat others, and how we feel about ourselves, among many other aspects of our lives. It creates a cycle of emotional dependence that can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression. Over time, this can impact our mental health, productivity, and our relationships. We become reactive rather than proactive, often feeling out of control and at the mercy of external events.

If these ill effects serve as a wake-up call for you, it's time to consider a different approach. Try training your mind to be content with the action itself, without expecting any particular outcome. This isn't easy, but you can start by choosing one task as an experiment. Give that task your all, without considering what it might deliver for you.

This concept echoes the famous verse from the Bhagavad Gita -   

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन। 

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि।।2.47।। 

This translates to, “You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself to be the cause of the results of your activities, nor be attached to inaction.” This ancient wisdom encourages us to focus on our actions and responsibilities without getting entangled in the web of expectations.

Try this experiment: Choose a minor task that you can complete within a short time frame. As you perform the task, concentrate solely on the action itself. Notice the details, the process, and the effort you are putting in. Pay attention to any emotions that arise. Acknowledge your feelings without judgement and let them pass. After completing the task, take a moment to reflect. How did it feel to focus only on the action? Did you notice a difference in your emotional state?

When I started travelling, I used to daydream about each trip, imagining making new friends, having fun adventures, and meeting someone special. However, these fantasies never came true exactly as I pictured them. Although my travels were still filled with memorable experiences, I realised that I was wasting time imagining scenarios that didn't happen. Now, I focus on planning my trips and enjoy each moment as it comes, experiencing everything in real time.

By putting all your effort into the love of the task itself and not  being attached to the expected result, you can begin to see a change. Regardless of the result, it loses the power to diminish your spirit because you have not attached an emotion to it. The result becomes emotion-free, and that feeling of being free from emotional attachment is contentment.

Breaking free from a roller coaster of expectations is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, practice, and persistence. But with each step, you will find a growing sense of peace and fulfilment. You will learn to appreciate the present moment and the inherent value of your actions.

Happy experimenting!